ISSUE #9: I Shouldn't Feel This Way
Welcome to Issue #9 of the Attracting Abundance Newsletter.
***Guest host Rick Wilkes (www.Thrivingnow.com) will interview Carol on Voice America on Monday, August 8th at 3:00 pm EDT***
In this newsletter, I'd like to give you permission to lighten up your vibration. If and when you have negative feelings, I hope that you will learn to accept them and appreciate all of you instead of feeling ashamed. While making an effort to talk in a positive way is wonderful, sometimes it backfires when the real vibration behind the words is too negative.
Many people are confused by my combining EFT with the Law of Attraction, as they have been taught or told that repeating something negative (as they are instructed to do in the basic setup phrase of EFT) will only bring that issue to pass more quickly. What makes perfect sense to me is that since you are already vibrating in a negative place ("this anxiety") you might as well address it head on, quickly and succinctly with EFT, without pretending that this feeling (vibration) isn't going on inside of you. Then you will be free to move into the positive CHOICE statements as soon as possible.
For me, this is the most efficient and elegant way to accommodate human nature. Focus on the negative to release it, and then install change with positive affirmations. I find that combining these two pieces of the puzzle --- addressing how you truly feel with the positive intention of feeling better, complement each other tremendously. I have found that change happens faster this way and seems to stick to the ribs. (For some excellent writings about the Law of Attraction, check out Ernest Holmes, Abraham-Hicks, Joseph Murphy, Catherine Ponder and others.)
While I believe that everything is about intrapersonal and interpersonal communication, it's not just about your words! While words can be very effective in improving your vibration, or how you communicate with the Universe, yourself, and those around you, it is far more important to change your vibration than to try and be positive with your words when you feel lousy. (This is why EFT is so helpful.)
I also think this is why positive thinking has earned a bad reputation. It often doesn't work when the vibrations behind the words people use don't match uplifting feelings. People are told to have a positive attitude, and they sincerely try, however, their actual vibration underneath it all is still negative, fearful, pessimistic, irritable or angry, and thus nothing changes in their lives.
Think of someone who has a smile on their face who is seething anger or resentment underneath. The Universe hears this vibration of resentment, not the smile or positive words. Enter EFT...which gives you permission to feel the negativity or limiting belief without feeling ashamed or guilty. Use EFT to candidly address where you are. This releases the challenging feelings to make room for the positive attitude or language.
In addition, remember that when you are trying to talk yourself out of feeling hurt, angry, or resentful, there is an undertone of self-negation, an "I shouldn't be in this place" attitude which of course has the effect of emitting a negative vibration to the Universe! This is one of the reasons that the "I deeply and completely accept myself" portion of the EFT setup statement is so vitally important. We need to stop feeling as if we are doing it (anything) wrong!
So if the truth is that you are feeling poor, unhappy, or irritable, you need to find ways to improve your vibration. Remember, according to Abraham-Hicks, the Universe hears your vibration, not your words. The reason EFT is so effective is that it addresses the underlying vibration, shifts it, and opens the space for more positive feelings to surface.
Do something to change your focus so you can temporarily vibrate in a higher place. Examples? Here are five ways to raise your vibration through thoughts and focus rather than through your words. Once the momentum starts, it will be hard to stop the upward spiral.
- Go into nature and study a tree, some leaves, or the flowers.
- Smell the dirt in your garden, listen to the chirps, squeaks, and tunes from nature.
- Watch some carefree neighborhood kids playing.
- Count your blessings in your mind by focusing on all the people you feel grateful for.
- Drink water (or eat your meals) mindfully---being fully present to every sensation.
"The experts agree that in order to speed up the delivery of what we want, we need to relax, expect that it is already on its way, and feel as if we have already received it. So the trick is to soothe ourselves so the impatience doesn't dominate our emotional life and slow down the "incoming" abundance. We are back to the theory of allowing joy and success to happen naturally, rather than watching the clock and taking score because it hasn't happened yet. That would be like digging up the seeds you planted to check how they are doing."
I highly recommend that newcomers to this newsletter review past issues
to give yourselves a solid foundation in combining the two methodologies
(focusing on the problem, and focusing on the solution) that are seemingly
at odds with each other. This will help you to feel congruent with what I
am offering from issue to issue. Past newsletters can be viewed by going
to the following page on my site: http://www.attractingabundance.com/newsletters.
Below you will find EFT Setup Phrases followed by two rounds (one negative and one positive) for this newsletter's topic, I Shouldn't Feel This Way.
1. EFT SETUP PHRASES
The EFT SETUP Phrases for this topic are as follows:
While tapping the karate chop spot on either hand, repeat these phrases out loud, (or change the words to fit your exact situation).
"Even though I feel negative and feel ashamed that I feel this way, I deeply and completely accept all of me anyway."
"Even though I don't think I should admit my negative feelings, I choose to own all of them."
"Even though I'm trying to cover up my negative feelings because I feel guilty having them, I choose to accept all of me and all my feelings."
I have indicated where to tap while saying each of the phrases below. You may repeat this round more than once if you wish. (Those of you who are new to EFT may view a chart of the spots on my web site under the EFT pages.)
***Now, for the phrases that focus on the problem***
Eyebrow: "I don't accept myself and I hate my negative feelings."
Side of Eye: "I accept the rotten mood I am in!"
Under Eye: "I feel guilty because I don't feel good."
Nose: "I must be doing something wrong."
Chin: "I wonder if I am worthy of success and abundance."
Collarbone: "I want to hide my negative feelings."
Under Arm: "I hate that I'm not perfect."
Head: "I wish I could do it all right."
***Now for the positive focus on the solution***
Eyebrow: "What if I accepted all of my feelings?"
Side of Eye: "I choose to embrace all of me and all of my feelings."
Under Eye: "I love remembering that I am doing the best that I can and it IS good enough."
Nose: "I choose to believe we are all worthy."
Chin: "I enjoy feeling accepting of myself."
Collarbone: "I choose to believe in my ability to change my vibration."
Under Arm: "Thank you Universe for all the blessings I have in my life right now."
Head: "I feel grateful for all the blessings in my life."
Then tap on the following phrases as you complete one more round:
I love knowing it is possible...
I choose to believe in the guidance I am receiving...
I appreciate the changes I have already made...
I love feeling so free...
I feel grateful for my deep relaxation and trust...
I feel freer already and appreciate my life...
I appreciate exactly who I am...
I am so grateful for my newfound belief in prosperity.
2. RECOMMENDATIONS AND TIPS:
Recommendation:
It's time to remind you to make your Gratitude List. Many of you are using it successfully, while some of you are ignoring it altogether. Even if you do nothing else to shift your vibration this week than write a Gratitude List, you will find improvements showing up in your life. Take out a sheet of paper every night (or use a beautiful journal of your choosing) and write a list of all that you feel grateful for...from every category in your life. Don't put anything on the list that doesn't belong there emotionally. I usually start my sentences with one of the following phrases:
I feel grateful for...
I appreciate...
I love...
Thank you Universe for...
Many of you enjoyed the recommendation to use the YES GAME from my last newsletter. I am including the directions again below:
A very effective "game" from my e-book, Attracting Abundance with EFT, is the YES GAME. Here are the rules:
(1) Write down a series of questions to which your answer is an enthusiastic, "YES!"
(2) Practice with the list of questions out loud, to make sure they elicit a good strong "YES!" from you.
(3) Tweak or rewrite any questions that seemed to get only a lukewarm response.
(4) Give the list to a friend to read out loud to you.
(5) Make sure your friend gives you enough time to respond with a great deal of emotion. (Remember, your response is always "YES!")
(6) Read your list to yourself and feel the excitement in your responses.
Examples of questions:
It is important that your questions are not "loaded" with too much emotional content or potential for conflict. I always start with simple surface questions. Remember, it's not the content of the question that matters, it's just the purity of the "YES!" answer that communicates energy to the Universe.
My list includes questions such as:
(1) Do you love living in New York?
(2) Is your name Carol?
(2) Is your favorite color blue?
(3) Do you enjoy your work?
(4) Do you feel joyful when you work with the abundance topic?
I am always able to answer with an emphatic "YES!" to all of these questions.
Tip:
Set aside 5 minutes a day when you turn the phone off, leave the television off, and have complete privacy. Use EFT for positive affirmations. You can skip the setup phrase and tapping on the karate chop point. Just start at the eyebrow spot and say one positive phrase for each point. Make the affirmations in the past tense as written below in the sample affirmations:
I loved landing that job (if that works for you).
I appreciate my part in receiving that lucrative contract.
I am so happy they chose me for that position.
I love knowing how successful I was last week.
I am grateful that the Universe has brought me so many leads/clients/tips recently.
I am grateful I healed that ailment in such a short amount of time.
I am so relieved my relationship is going so well.
Other tips, recommendations and games can be found in my e-book, "Attracting Abundance with EFT."
3. ANNOUNCEMENTS:
3-1. Mondays August 1 and August 8, 3:00 pm Eastern Time:
Those of you who are new subscribers may not know that I have been hosting a series on the Internet Radio station, http://www.health.VoiceAmerica.com. The title of the 13-week series is: "Attracting Abundance: The Energy of Success." The show airs at 3:00 pm EDT every Monday afternoon. To those of you who have been tuning in, I appreciate your enthusiastic feedback!
Past interview guests are listed below, and their interviews can be heard by accessing my archive page:
Past interview guests have been:
- EFT founder Gary Craig talking about the Palace of Possibilities: http://www.EmoFree.com.
- Bob Doyle, host and founder of http://www.WealthBeyondReason.com.
- Dr. Alex Lees of Vancouver on Self-Esteem: http://www.DrAlexLees.com.
- Australian EFT expert Steve Wells on the topic of peak performance: http://www.EFTDownUnder.com.
- Dr. Henry Grayson talking about how to improve relationships: http://www.MindfulLoving.com.
- Cheryl Richardson, the country's leading life coach, Oprah guest and New York Times bestselling author, on her views and experiences with EFT. For more on Cheryl and her work, visit http://www.CherylRichardson.com.
- Paul Bauer, abundance expert and host of http://www.DreamsAlive.com
.
- Gary Craig on the topic of "Why EFT works for Pain and Physical Ailments." Visit EmoFree.com
.
- Jon Gordon, author of Energy Addict, 101 ways to improve your energy physically, mentally and spiritually. Reach Jon at EnergyAddict.com
.
- Mike Dooley, creator of the audio CD program, Infinite Possibilities: The Art of Living Your Dreams and host of TUT.com
.
Access the archive versions of all past shows "on demand" at http://www.attractingabundance.com/voiceamerica.html.
On Monday August 1, I interviewed Mike Dooley of TUT.com. I highly recommend tuning in to the archive of this show for those of you interested in more tools to for installing positive beliefs. His CD set is excellent!
On Monday August 8, my friend and colleague, Rick Wilkes will step in as guest host to interview me :-) about my e-book Attracting Abundance with EFT. I encourage you to check out Rick's wonderful website ThrivingNow.com for articles and audio clips for health and wellness.
To tune in "LIVE" at the designated time of the show, go to http://www.health.voiceamerica.com. The call-in phone number is (866) 369-3742. Each week the show will be rebroadcast later the same day as well as several other times during the week.
3-2. Toronto Energy Psychology Conference:
As part of the annual Toronto Energy Psychology Conference in November, I will be teaching a one-day class called "Magnetic Attraction with EFT: Attracting Abundance with the Energy of Love and Gratitude."
As usual, Conference Leader Sharon Toole has put together an impressive list of speakers including:(1) Stanford engineer, William Tiller; (2) self-esteem pioneer, Nathaniel Branden; (3) alternative medicine researcher, Jerry Wesch, PhD; (4) cardiologist and author, Bruno Cortis, MD; and (5) social scientist and futurist, J.J. Hurtak, PhD.
To sign up for pre-conference classes or to attend the entire conference, please go to http://www.TorontoEPC.com.
3-3. National Institute for the Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM)
I have been invited to teach a 16-lesson online EFT course called "Weight Loss with Energy Therapy" for NICABM from September 19 to November 11. To register, go to http://www.NICABM.com. Throughout the 16 lessons, I will teach the class participants how to use EFT with their clients to reduce cravings, neutralize limiting beliefs, eliminate sabotage behavior and prevent relapse. The special CODE for a $50 discount is E05372.
I will also be teaching a 3-day beginner's and advanced EFT course in December at NICABM's annual conference on Hilton Head Island in South Carolina. Sign up through http://www.NICABM.com. (Click here for a brief audio postcard I recorded about the conference.)
If there are any specific topics you would like me to address, feel free to drop me an email and I will add it to my list for future newsletters.
Again, I appreciate those of you who have taken the time to write me about your experiences and successes.
If you have any questions, please feel free to email me at Carol@CarolLook.com.
Thanks,
Carol
http://www.attractingabundance.com