By Carol Look, EFT Master
"Ann" was referred to me for weight loss from her
back/pain doctor who had recently heard of EFT. When she
first called, Ann reported feeling scared. While she felt
embarrassed about being overweight and knew it was
exacerbating her pain, she hadn't felt ready to tackle
this issue. The doctor urged her to call me because he
felt the excess weight was a contributing factor for her
overall pain and general health condition.
Ann admitted using food for 3 primary reasons (1) to
soothe the emotional emptiness from her upbringing with
her cold mother and absent father, (2) to comfort her when
her physical pain was unbearable, and (3) to fill a void
inside of her from feeling starved of emotional and
physical affection from her husband. Over the past 4
months we have worked on all three of these areas. Ann has
lost 25 pounds easily and effortlessly by addressing and
neutralizing the underlying emotional states that drove
her to binge and overeat in the first place.
Ann said she was overweight most of her life, and
sometimes used food to "stick it to" her mother. She used
food when she was irritated by her mother and to show that
she was "in charge." She understood how this backfired,
however, but was unable to stop using food in this way
when feeling angry or resentful. "I eat to squash the
turmoil" is how she put it.
Chronically angry at her mother, Ann felt as if she
were the adult in the relationship. Essentially she was
hungry for basic love and acceptance from her mother and
never felt heard or understood. At the time Ann contacted
me, her mother was entering the hospital for minor
surgery. They had had a confrontation during which her
mother had told her she didn't think her daughter was
likable.
When I asked Ann what the "downside" would be to her
losing weight and stopping her afternoon patterns of
overeating, she said she would feel dissatisfied and angry
all the time and wouldn't know what to do with those
feelings. She also stated that she feared she would have
to come to terms with all the turmoil in her life.
Finally, she admitted that the extra weight was being used
as protection against years of emotional pain and feelings
of rejection and abandonment.
(1) We tapped for her feelings about her mother as
follows:
"Even though my mother doesn't even like me, I
completely like and accept myself."
"Even though my mother doesn't think I'm good
enough, I choose to believe I'm lovable and good enough."
"Even though I use food to comfort my loneliness, I
deeply and completely accept myself."
"Even though I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm
obese, I choose to accept myself anyway."
"Even though my mother has never understood me, I
accept her for who she is."
"Even though she is too selfish to hear me, I
accept my own feelings anyway."
(2) During several later sessions, we tapped for her
back and knee pain. Ann has had severe sciatica, and knee
replacement surgery a year ago. This was followed by a
second surgery to replace a plastic piece in her knee
after tearing a ligament. She has felt very discouraged
that she continues to suffer so much.
"Even though I'm angry that no one knows what I've
been through, I accept and love myself."
"Even though I feel enraged by my pain, I deeply
and completely accept myself."
"Even though I have this knee pain, and chronic
back pain, I accept all of me."
"Even though my pain reminds me of my mother, and I
feel resentful, I deeply and completely accept myself,
including the pain."
"Even though I have this anger and resentment in my
knee, I choose to love and accept myself."
"Event though my pain keeps me from living a normal
life, I deeply and completely love and accept all of me
anyway."
"Even though my pain gets in my way and makes me
feel hopeless and helpless, I choose to feel
self-accepting and lovable."
Her pain was reduced significantly during the session
and she continues to tap for herself at home between
sessions.
(3) The final area of Ann's emotional distress is her
marriage; she is troubled by the lack of love and
affection. She feels hopeless that it could ever change,
and is unable to make any progress in communicating with
him. She reported feeling angry and resentful because of a
perception that her "needs don't count." We tapped as
follows:
"Even though I'm not appreciated for what I do, I
love and appreciate myself anyway."
"Even though I feel angry when he doesn't listen to
me, I choose to listen to myself."
"Even though I feel terribly frustrated because I'm
starving for love and affection, I want to feel comforted
anyway."
"Even though I feel rejected and it feels painful,
I deeply and completely accept myself."
"Even though my needs are insignificant, and I
don't count, I accept all of my feelings."
Ann has tapped sporadically in between sessions and has
experienced progress in all areas of her life. She isn't
bothered by her mother anymore, and feels more at peace
with what she didn't experience emotionally as a child.
Ann said, "food isn't as central in my life
anymore...I eat moderately and am more conscious of when
I'm full and what I need." She said "I enjoy not
cramming food down my throat anymore." Ann felt
thrilled that she didn't feel deprived by the changes in
her eating habits and thought this feature would make her
completely successful in reaching her final weight loss
goals. She still eats her favorite foods but has a new
awareness about what her body needs. "I no longer have
to eat to fill the starvation I feel."
In the later afternoons, Ann used to binge on cookies
and sweets. Now she takes the time to be by herself, read,
think about her feelings, and tap. She acknowledges that
neither her mother nor her husband have changed in any
way, however, she feels confident she can identify and
process all of her feelings in relationship to both of
them. She has no desire to abuse food as a way to stuff
her feelings or avoid the reality of her situation. Her
pain is much better, and she continues to seek
professional medical help for long-term ailments.
Ann has lost 25 pounds and feels confident that she
will make it through the holidays with ease. When I asked
Ann what was most useful about the tapping, she declared
that using EFT for her pent-up frustrations and emptiness
made all the difference in her life to help her stop
overeating and care about her body and health.
