By Carol Look, EFT Master
“Lisa” came in to her session upset because a number of
her friends had confronted her about never returning their
phone calls. They were disappointed in her and said she
wasn’t being a good enough friend. I asked Lisa why she
didn’t return calls, and she started telling me about her
“emotional” history with cell phones.
Lisa described herself as essentially phobic about her
cell phone. She reported having nothing but negative
associations with it. “I associate it with death. It
always brings bad news.” She reported that whenever
it rang, she winced, her heart raced and she had to fight
a feeling of dread.
Lisa had been called on her cell phone when her mother
was rushed to the hospital last year. She had found six
messages on her cell phone when she turned it on after
being at work. When she arrived at the hospital, her
mother had died. It was totally unexpected and a shock to
everyone. (We had already done extensive tapping for her
grief, so she wanted to stay focused on her phone issue.)
We tapped as follows:
“Even though my cell phone reminds me of death…and
of my mother, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I avoid answering my phone because I
don’t want any more bad news, I deeply and completely
accept my behavior.”
“Even though my friends are mad at me because I
don’t return their calls, I’m OK.”
“Even though I feel dread and panic when my phone
rings, I choose to feel calm.”
I asked Lisa what other negative reminders were
associated with her phone. She told me that when her
boyfriend’s parents died in a tragic accident two years
ago, he couldn’t reach her because she did NOT have a cell
phone. She said it was just another association with phone
calls and death.
“Even though I expect to get bad news when my cell
phone rings, I deeply and completely love and accept
myself.”
“Even though I’m afraid to answer my cell phone, I
completely accept myself anyway.”
Lisa remembered more bad news linked to her phone. Last
month the brother of a good friend was killed in a car
accident, and she found out “by answering my phone.”
She continued searching for other negative links and found
another obvious one: 6 months after her mother died, her
father was diagnosed with lung cancer, and she heard the
news “by answering my cell phone.” We tapped to
clear these connections.
I asked Lisa why else she avoided her phone. Her
response provided more tapping opportunities:
“I feel so invaded. People just bother me and they
can get to me whenever they want. And I feel the pressure
to have answers for them right away when they ask me to
join them for a social occasion.” We tapped again:
“Even though I don’t have any privacy anymore, I
deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I don’t feel safe because I have a
cell phone, I deeply accept my feelings.”
“Even though the calls feel intrusive, I choose to
feel free and safe.”
“Even though I hide by not answering my phone, I
accept my feelings and behavior.”
Lisa jumped at the word “free.” She said she didn’t
feel free anymore, and never felt free to say “no” to
people when they put her “on the spot.”
We tapped a few more rounds on safety and freedom.
“Even though I want them to leave me alone, I
choose to feel safe and to love myself.”
“Even though I want to be in control, I choose to
feel confident about saying ‘no.’ ”
“Even though I don’t want to be forced to say “no”,
I accept my behavior and feelings.”
“Even though I’m afraid they won’t like me, I
deeply and completely accept my fears.”
I tested Lisa by calling her cell phone number from my
office phone. She said she felt much more comfortable
looking at the phone, hearing it ring, and picking it up.
Throughout the session, Lisa was amazed at how powerful
her negative associations had been. “It’s just a
little dumb phone.” She felt better about her fears,
the associations, the expectation of bad news, and felt
confident she would be open to answering her phone on a
regular basis. She did not feel the need to tap for any
grief work, as we had already worked on that successfully
since her mother’s death.
Two weeks later, Lisa came back for a session and
reported that her cell phone “problem” was “a
million per cent better!” She couldn’t believe what
the tapping had changed for her. She was answering all her
calls, returning messages, and being direct when people
asked her questions. She felt proud of herself because she
answered a call on her way to my office and was able to
tell the person she couldn’t talk because she had an
appointment. “No more hiding and lying anymore…and I
feel free.” Her final words were, “Can we work on
my problem with driving next time??”
