By Carol Look, EFT Master
Clients often state that they have difficulty
tuning in to their feelings, or that
they can’t get a charge or “zzzzzzzzt” in their bodies
when they think of a specific event. In this 5 part
series, I recommend different techniques to help you and
your clients tune in more deeply to emotions and memories
to make EFT tapping sessions more
effective. I will be covering our 5 primary senses:
visual, auditory, tactile, gustatory & olfactory, and
finally, a segment on triggering your emotions through the
media.
When clients have difficulty tuning in to
their feelings, or can’t feel the
“zzzzzzzzt” in their bodies when they think of a memory or
event for tapping, they often think EFT
isn’t working, as there isn’t much of a “before and after”
test with the 0-10 intensity scale. Many of us need
extra visual cues or stimulation to access this part of
our memory, and family photographs are the perfect prop!
Take out old family photos and identify feelings,
themes, incidents and thoughts that were going on when the
pictures were taken. You might even take
out your high school year book (since High School seems to
be so fraught with conflicted feelings for many people…)
or your wedding album, and tap a few rounds while you are
looking at yourself. You may be shocked at how
effective this is for bringing up emotions you thought had
been “handled.” Here are some options:
Look at yourself in the selected photo
objectively, and use words as if you are treating someone
else…
Karate chop point: Even though
he was feeling so vulnerable back then,
he has a good heart and meant well…Even
though he was so scared back then,
he’s a great person and has really
matured. Even though he was scared
and insecure, I accept him and how he felt.
Eyebrow: He looks scared
Side of Eye: He looks
vulnerable
Under Eye: He looks
frightened
Under Nose: He must have
been feeling very insecure
Chin: He looks so vulnerable
Collarbone: He seems so scared
Under Arm: He wasn’t getting
any guidance
Top of Head: He seems so scared
Then use EFT in the “first person
singular” the way we usually use it:
Karate chop point: Even though
I was miserable during this time because
of that incident, I deeply and completely love and accept
myself…Even though I was feeling so sad because of the
rejection, I deeply and profoundly love and accept who I
was back then…Even though I was confused and miserable
because of what happened, I deeply and completely love and
accept myself anyway.
Eyebrow: I look so confused
Side of Eye: I was so confused
Under Eye: I didn’t know what to
do
Under Nose: I didn’t know how to
behave
Chin: I didn’t know what to do
next
Collarbone: I can see it in my
eyes
Under Arm: I look scared
Top of Head: I look frightened
Notice your relatives in the photos and examine their
facial expressions and body language. This should
trigger some strong feelings and memories as well.
Karate chop point: Even though he
was angry and insulted me, I deeply and completely love
and accept myself…Even though he was drunk in that photo
and I remember the fight we had, I choose to release the
pain of it now and accept both of us…Even though I still
feel hurt when I see this photo, I accept who I am and
that he was doing the best he could at the time.
Eyebrow: I still feel hurt
Side of Eye: I feel hurt
when I see this photo
Under Eye: I remember the
feelings and the fight
Under Nose: I accept who I
am and what he said
Chin: He was drunk and didn’t mean
it
Collarbone: I accept my feelings
Under Arm: I accept his
feelings
Top of Head: It was a long
time ago and I accept my reactions
Tap for your family members when you see them looking
unhappy in the photos:
Karate chop point: Even though she
took her anger out on me, I accept her and myself at the
same time…Even though she and Dad just had a fight, I can
see it in their eyes, I choose to feel calm and
peaceful…Even though we all look tense in that photo, I
accept who we are and how we felt.
Eyebrow: She looks so mad in that
picture
Side of Eye: She was angry
at me
Under Eye: She was angry at
him
Under Nose: I felt hurt that
she took it out on me
Chin: She must have been hurt too
Collarbone: She looks terrible
Under Arm: I accept what
happened
Top of Head: I appreciate
that she was trying to do the best she could…
Karate chop point: Even though he
was trying to control me back then, I accept who I am and
who he is…Even though he was trying to control me my whole
life, I accept both of us…Even though he seems angry at me
in the photo, I accept who I am and how I feel.
Eyebrow: He was controlling me
Side of Eye: I resent that
he was trying to control me
Under Eye: He was angry and
trying to control me
Under Nose: He couldn’t
control himself
Chin: So he tried to control me
instead
Collarbone: He looks frustrated
Under Arm: I look frustrated
Top of Head: We both look
unhappy
Stay tuned for part 2 of this series focusing on
auditory sensations.
Carol Look, EFT Master
Using Music: Music can certainly lift
your mood instantly, but it can also remind you of times
that weren’t very pleasant. For instance, let’s say
you had a tumultuous relationship with your father, and he
listened to jazz music all the time. Try listening
to jazz music now and notice what feelings surface.
Gary Craig’s favorite question is“What does
this remind you of?”
Karate chop point: Even though
this music reminds me of ____________, I deeply and
completely love and accept who I am anyway…Even though
this music reminds me of my alcoholic relative, I choose
to feel calm and peaceful anyway...Even though hearing the
music makes me feel uneasy, I choose to accept who I am
and how I feel.
Eyebrow: The music reminds me of
__________________
Side of Eye: I feel uneasy
in my body
Under Eye: I feel
uncomfortable when I hear this music
Under Nose: It reminds me of
that person
Chin: I don’t feel good about
these feelings
Collarbone: I feel so uneasy when
I hear this music
Under Arm: I remember what
he/she was like
Top of Head: I don’t feel
settled at all
Many people remember what songs were on the radio
during times of hardship in a relationship. Most
people who have had an intimate relationship have feelings
about “our song” which can bring back painful memories if
the partner has left or died. So listen to the
songs, and ask yourself what feelings surface. Is it
deep grief? Anger? Unresolved resentment?
Karate chop point: Even though
this song reminds me of when he dumped me, I choose to
accept who I am and how I am reacting…Even though this
music reminds me of that break-up, I choose to accept who
I am and how I feel…Even though this song reminds me of
all that hurt and break-up pain, I accept who I am and how
I feel.
Eyebrow: I feel so sad hearing
this song
Side of Eye: I feel such
pain when I hear it
Under Eye: I feel as if it
just happened
Under Nose: This grief about
that time in my life
Chin: I feel the grief in my body
Collarbone: I feel so sad hearing
this song
Under Arm: I feel grief
about that relationship
Top of Head: I’m still
mourning that relationship
Karate chop point: Even
though I feel resentful when I hear this song because it
reminds me of _________, I accept who I am and how I
feel…Even though I’m still not over that relationship, I
deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway…Even
though I feel resentful and am not over this relationship
YET, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Eyebrow: I’m feeling grief about
that relationship
Side of Eye: I don’t want to
hear that song
Under Eye: It reminds me of
so much pain
Under Nose: I feel so much
pain about that relationship
Chin: What if I could resolve it
now?
Collarbone: What if I could get
over it?
Under Arm: What if I could
feel good instead?
Top of Head: I choose to
feel calm and peaceful.
Stay tuned for part 3 of this series focusing on
tactile sensations.
Carol Look, EFT Master
Many of our memories are tied to physical sensations.
Cold or hot, rough or smooth, comfortable or uncomfortable
feelings in our bodies. Traumas such as car
accidents, attacks, or incidents of abuse become lodged in
the body, or our cellular memory. If there is a
chance that there are repressed memories regarding your
childhood, or that entering through this door might cause
too much discomfort, I recommend you consult a qualified
EFT Practitioner to lead you through the
following exercises (using a car accident as an example).
- Does the summer remind you of sad
times?
- Does the cold weather remind you of
a particular event?
- Do certain body parts seem over
sensitive?
- Does the car seatbelt feel too
constrictive?
Karate chop point: Even though I
don’t feel comfortable with the seatbelt around my chest,
I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway…Even
though the tight belt reminds me of ____________, I choose
to feel alive and free…Even though the seatbelt is too
tight and I can’t breathe deeply enough, I accept myself
anyway.
Eyebrow: I feel restricted by the
seatbelt
Side of Eye: I feel anxious
feeling the seatbelt
Under Eye: I feel uptight
about putting the seatbelt on
Under Nose: I don’t want to
be restricted
Chin: I feel trapped under the
seatbelt
Collarbone: I feel anxious because
it’s too tight
Under Arm: I feel short of
breath
Top of Head: I feel anxious
about feeling trapped
Karate chop point: Even though
this physical sensation reminds me of _____________, I
deeply and completely love and accept myself…Even though
being in the car reminds me of the accident, I accept
myself and how I feel…Even though sitting in the car is
bringing back frightening memories, I accept who I am and
how I feel right now.
Eyebrow: I’m afraid to be in the
back seat
Side of Eye: It’s bringing
back bad memories
Under Eye: I feel uptight
back here
Under Nose: I feel scared
and trapped again
Chin: I remember feeling trapped
Collarbone: I don’t want to feel
the seats back here
Under Arm: I’m afraid again
Top of Head: I want to get
over this association with the accident
Weather changes and temperatures are also instant
triggers for memories.
Karate chop point: Even though the
cold air reminds me of the winter my mother died, I deeply
and completely love and accept myself anyway…Even though I
feel depressed every winter because it reminds me of
grief, I deeply and completely love and accept who I am
and how I feel…Even though I feel deep sadness when the
seasons change, I choose to feel loving and accepting of
myself.
Eyebrow: I feel so sad when the
cold weather comes
Side of Eye: I feel grief
when I feel cold
Under Eye: My sadness gets
worse in the winter
Under Nose: I feel so sad
when it’s cold out
Chin: It reminds me of her funeral
Collarbone: It reminds me of how
much I miss her
Under Arm: I feel so much
grief every winter
Top of Head: The cold weather
makes me sad…
For people who have been attacked physically, there are
obvious sensations that will trigger negative and
frightening memories. This might be a time when
readers consult a qualified EFT
practitioner to lead them through these exercises.
Of course you may substitute any body part for “neck” from
the following exercise.
Karate chop point: Even though I
can’t stand it when someone touches my neck, it reminds me
of the attack, I deeply and completely love and accept
myself anyway…Even though I don’t want anyone going near
my neck, I accept who I am and what happened…Even though I
still blame myself for the attack, I accept my feelings
right now.
Eyebrow: I don’t want anyone to
touch my neck
Side of Eye: I don’t want
anyone to come near me
Under Eye: It scares me when
someone touches my body
Under Nose: I don’t want to
feel these feelings
Chin: Stay away from my neck
Collarbone: I’m afraid I will be
attacked again
Under Arm: I don’t want to
be touched there again
Top of Head: I don’t feel
safe
Stay tuned for part 4 of this series
on activating your memories through the “doors” of
taste and smell (gustatory and
olfactory.)
Carol Look, EFT Master
Maybe you experienced heavy family
fighting during the dinner hour and at the dining room
table --- this will certainly affect your taste buds!
- Are there any foods that you are
repulsed by?
- What does the disgusting taste
remind you of?
- What were you eating when you heard
bad news?
- What restaurants do you avoid
because of painful memories?
- When did your allergies start?
Also, many families control their children with
punishments and rewards involving foods…if you’re good
you get an ice cream cone, eat your vegetables or
you won’t be healthy, no dessert until you finish your
beans…
Karate chop point: Even though I
feel repulsed by vegetables, and they remind me of
______________, I deeply and completely love and accept
who I am…Even though the taste of _________ is disgusting
to me, I choose to accept the associated memories, and I
accept who I am and what memories come up for me…Even
though the taste of ______________ reminds me of bad
times, I choose to accept my emotions connected with these
tastes.
Eyebrow: I’m repulsed by this
taste
Side of Eye: It tastes
disgusting to me
Under Eye: It’s leaving a
bad taste in my mouth
Under Nose: It reminds me of
someone I know
Chin: This bad taste in my mouth
Collarbone: I remember what I was
eating when I heard the bad news
Under Arm: I can’t eat that
food because it reminds me of ___________
Top of Head: My body is
rejecting this food because of my feelings
Karate chop point: Even though I
don’t like the taste in my mouth, I choose to accept my
emotions behind this reaction…Even though this leaves a
bad taste in my mouth, I accept who I am and how I
feel…Even though I don’t want to eat what I don’t want to
eat, and don’t make me!!! I deeply and completely love and
accept myself.
Eyebrow: I don’t want to eat it
Side of Eye: Don’t make me
eat this
Under Eye: I don’t want to
eat it
Under Nose: Leave me alone
Chin: I want to eat what I choose
Collarbone: I have this bad taste
in my mouth
Under Arm: I don’t like the
taste in my mouth
Top of Head: I have this
terrible taste in my mouth
SMELL: Our olfactory memory is
critical to our lives, and whether you encounter perfumes,
shampoos, old houses or some other strong smell, odors may
unearth memories that can then be targeted with
EFT.
- Does the smell of someone’s perfume
remind you of someone who died or someone you do or
don’t love?
- Does her shampoo remind you of a
time long ago?
- Does that stranger’s cologne remind
you of anything bad?
- Does walking into the old house
remind you of a relative?
Karate chop point: Even though the
smell reminds me of a bad time in my life, I deeply and
completely love and accept myself anyway…Even though his
cologne gives me the creeps, I accept and respect who I am
and how I feel…Even though the aromas are reminding me of
my past, I choose to feel present and calm.
Eyebrow: I don’t like this smell
Side of Eye: I’m having a
reaction to that smell
Under Eye: I feel odd when I
smell this scent
Under Nose: I don’t like
this smell at all
Chin: It reminds me of a bad time
Collarbone: I’m afraid of the
memories
Under Arm: I don’t want to
remember right now
Top of Head: I don’t like
what this reminds me of
Karate chop point: Even though her
perfume reminds me of a lot of negative memories, I deeply
and completely love and accept my reactions…Even though
I’m so sensitive to those odors, I choose to calm down my
reactions...Even though I’ve always been over sensitive,
and I wonder what started this reaction, I accept and
respect myself anyway.
Eyebrow: Her perfume reminds me of
bad times
Side of Eye: I’m so
sensitive to chemical odors
Under Eye: I’ve always been
“over sensitive”
Under Nose: Maybe I could
get over this reaction
Chin: I feel sick when I smell
these odors
Collarbone: I choose to calm down
my energy system
Under Arm: I accept who I am
and how I feel
Top of Head: I accept who I
am and how I am reacting
Stay tuned for the final installment on
Emotional Responses to the Media.
Carol Look, EFT Master
EMOTIONS: Of course seeing the news,
television shows or movies provide very sharp triggers for
your emotions and interpersonal conflicts. I
remember coming home for lunch one afternoon this summer
and watching the television as they videotaped an airplane
that had lost control of its landing gear and was running
out of fuel. They kept focusing on photos of the
trapped passengers and speculating on how they must be
feeling. It ended well, but watching of course
ruined my day. (While finishing this article, a
small plane crashed into a building in New York City…)
When I insist on watching, I find it very effective to tap
on myself in front of the news.
While this is mostly a visual trigger, movies and news
programs do a good job of engaging all your “channels” so
don’t be surprised if you find other pathways for memories
to surface when watching the television. There are
always loud sound effects, images that make us “feel”
something in our guts, and of course, the basic visual
stimulation through color, lights and images.
Karate chop point: Even though the
news is so agitating to me, I deeply and completely love
and accept who I am…Even though I feel so anxious whenever
I watch the news, I deeply and completely love and accept
myself and my reactions…Even though I feel this anxiety
whenever I hear the negative stories, I choose to feel
calm and peaceful.
Eyebrow: I feel so helpless
Side of Eye: I feel so out
of control
Under Eye: The news makes me
angry
Under Nose: The news makes
me afraid
Chin: This anxiety in my stomach
Collarbone: This tension in my
neck
Under Arm: I don’t want to
watch it anymore
Top of Head: I’m afraid of
all that I see and hear
I know that many of us are troubled by the war images
and ongoing loss of life. Between newspapers, televisions
and conversations, we can’t get away from it all.
Definitely use the tapping as a way to soothe yourself if
you can’t seem to get away from the images.
Karate chop point: Even though the
images of the war make me angry, I deeply and completely
love and accept who I am…Even though I can’t take the
stories anymore, I choose to feel calm and peaceful…Even
though I feel helpless and powerless, I choose to accept
who I am and how I feel.
Eyebrow: I feel angry when I watch
the news
Side of Eye: I feel scared
when I see what’s happening
Under Eye: I feel upset when
I hear what’s going on
Under Nose: These images are
upsetting me
Chin: Why do I keep watching?
Collarbone: I have to know what’s
going on
Under Arm: Maybe I don’t
Top of Head: I’m not helping
anyone…
There are musicals, tragedies, comedies and
shoot-em-ups. Choose a genre and watch it on
television or rent a movie depicting something you could
tap on. Use EFT to collapse the
fears and associations. These movies are full of
scenes and feelings that will help you cut down more
“trees in your forest” as Gary would say. There is
always the typical suspense feeling from chase scenes in
movies that could be very useful as a trigger for people
who lived in the midst of chronic stress when they were
growing up.
Karate chop point: Even though
watching the chase scene scared me, I accept who I am and
how I feel…Even though I can relate to that character, I
deeply and completely love and accept myself…Even though I
feel exactly what he feels, I accept who I am and how I
feel right now.
Eyebrow: I feel what he is feeling
Side of Eye: I don’t like
these feelings
Under Eye: I feel afraid of
what’s coming next
Under Nose: I know something
bad is about to happen
Chin: I can’t stand the tension
Collarbone: I can feel the tension
Under Arm: I don’t want to
see what happens
Top of Head: I know
something bad will happen
Karate chop point: Even though the
tension reminds me of my childhood, I choose to feel calm
and peaceful right now…Even though I feel the way I did as
a child, I accept who I am and how I am reacting…Even
though the tension makes me feel powerless, I deeply and
completely love and accept myself anyway.
Eyebrow: I don’t want to see how
this turns out
Side of Eye: I’m afraid of
what is going to happen next
Under Eye: I hate this
feeling in my stomach
Under Nose: I feel queasy
deep inside
Chin: I hate the suspense of this
Collarbone: I want to feel calm
and peaceful
Under Arm: I want to feel
back in control
Top of Head: I choose to
feel back in control
While there are many more ways to trigger your feelings
from old memories or events, this is a good start! I
hope this helps,
Carol Look, EFT Master
