By Carol Look, EFT Master
We all prefer to live within our comfort
zones in every part of our lives. Some
of us are restricted within these parameters concerning
our health, others stick to them around annual salaries,
while others play them out in interpersonal relationships.
You will find we all have these comfort
zones but don’t always notice
them or know how powerful they are.
You will find that behind every comfort zone are a few
strong limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs are restrictions about your abilities
that you are convinced are true. They support your
comfort zones to keep you “safe.” If you can expand
your comfort zones emotionally and energetically with
EFT from the inside, you will
automatically attract more success in every
area of your life.
Let’s start with a few definitions and answers to some
frequently asked questions about comfort
zones. The 4 most common
questions I am asked are:
(1) What is a Comfort Zone?
(2) How do I know if I have one?
(3) Do I need to know why I have it or
where it came from?
(4) Once I have identified my comfort zones,
how do I expand them?
In this article, I will offer simple EFT
tapping suggestions to expand your comfort zones to
make success in your life a probability,
not just a possibility.
A comfort zone is a ceiling
on your performance (or health, or finances) above which
you won’t emotionally “dare to go.” These “zones”
are invisible to you, except when you look at the
results of your efforts in your life. The
results in your life are reflecting the comfort zones
under which you currently operate. You
might have unconscious comfort zones that are hidden from
your awareness, or you may be clear and conscious about
the limits you have set for yourself. Either way,
you are compelled to stay within these boundaries for
their ease and familiarity, and will seek ways to balance
your life so you remain within these safe walls. A
comfort zone is a place you know
well, there is no risk there, and you don’t have to suffer
“growing pains” or “stretching” pains while staying within
it.
Look at your life --- your health, finances,
relationships, and general sense of well-being. If
your health is always compromised, or you make a certain
salary every year and never go above that dollar amount,
or if your relationships follow all the same predictable
patterns, it is highly likely you have a
comfort zone in which you are operating
(hiding) to stay safe. Staying
emotionally safe is the real reason we live within these
comfort zones. Feeling out of place,
or that you don’t belong in a new “zone” will immediately
signal you to sabotage yourself so that you come back
“home.”
A key to identifying whether you have
comfort zones or not is whether your efforts
to change emotionally, financially or physically have been
temporary or permanent.
When you have successfully worked on
expanding your comfort zones, changes come
automatically and remain permanent.
When you have only applied a bandaid approach to your
problems (a diet, a sharper resume, trying out a new
“type” in dating) you are likely to return to your
original set point, and you will be disappointed with your
temporary results.
Examine your life now. Are you disappointed by
some changes that were only temporary? Are you
frustrated because you thought you had “worked on” an
issue only to find it has resurfaced? Maybe you
thought your new partner was “different” this time, but
instead of drinking, he gambles … instead of being
emotionally unavailable by leaving the home, he is
emotionally unavailable by zoning out in front of the
television. Perhaps you thought you had finally
found the diet for you, only to find that you regained the
weight you had lost with your new eating plan. Maybe
you landed an incredible audition, and showed up late or
“forgot” an important line.
The good news is that we can change those patterns on a
permanent basis. Using
EFT to get to the root cause of “relapse”
in any part of your life is a sure way to expand these
zones which will enable you to move forward.
Not always. I was able to break through a salary
comfort zone without knowing exactly where it came from.
It was obvious that I was limited by one, since I earned
the exact same income two years in a row despite numerous
variables in my clinical practice. This feedback
told me that yes, I must not be comfortable
earning above this amount! I never knew why this
amount was a block, but once I worked on it with
EFT, (I treated it as an emotional and social
safety issue) I blew past it very quickly.
Some people will want and need exact data and to know
that their comfort zone came
from something their father said, a comment their coach or
sibling said, that made them decide to stick within a
comfortable framework. In other cases, you don’t
need to know the specifics if you can tap on the anxiety
that surfaces when you consider stretching past your
current limits.
This is the fun part! Once you have identified
that you have comfort zones (and
everyone does) and decide that you are willing to break
through them, EFT is the perfect tool to
stretch your emotional capacity and give you the power to
break through these “ceilings.”
Identifying and expanding your comfort
zones takes a little work, but it will be
profoundly worth it to you if you truly want
to change. Some people admit that they
don’t want to change, even when they are offered simple
tools to turn their lives around, and that’s ok too.
In this 3 part series I will show you ways to identify
and expand your individual comfort zones
in the areas of (1) Weight, (2) Health, (3)
Sports, (4) Finances, and (5) Building
Your EFT Practice (or other business.)
WEIGHT LOSS:
Suppose you continue to say to friends and family that
you want to lose 20 pounds (or 30, 40 etc) but you never
quite get there. Or worse, once you get there, you
regain the weight you fought so hard to release.
This yo-yo pattern is evidence that you have a
comfort zone and have not broken through
the core issue around your body weight.
Do the following quick exercise:
(1) Imagine losing 10 pounds, how would you feel?
Picture it, feel it, and imagine your body at this new
weight.
(2) If there is no anxiety or any other discomfort, do
the same exercise with the “next 10 pounds.” Imagine
yourself weighing 20 pounds less. Now how do you feel?
Any anxiety? Any discomfort? Fears?
(3) If there is still no anxiety (this is unlikely),
imagine losing another 10 pounds, so that you are now 30
pounds less than when you started in your mind’s eye.
Measure the anxiety or discomfort.
(4) Pretend you have now lost 40 pounds (or reached
your goal), and feel it in your body, see it in the
“mirror” and notice how you feel.
By this point, if you are in touch with your feelings,
you should have some considerable anxiety and “yes, buts”
surfacing. While it is uncomfortable, you have just
given yourself perfect targets for EFT.
If at any of these junctures you feel the anxiety
rising, ask yourself a few simple questions to identify
your limiting beliefs as targets
for your tapping:
(1) Why does it feel awkward or
uncomfortable to be at this new weight?
(2) What feels risky about
losing ______ pounds?
(3) What scares you about
reaching this goal?
(4) What’s the downside of
losing weight?
For instance, suppose it was easy and freeing for you
to imagine yourself 10 pounds lighter than you are now,
but when you pretended you were 20 pounds lighter, you
suddenly became anxious and nervous. Start tapping
about the feelings that surfaced to move you beyond this
comfort zone.
Even though I feel anxious without
enough coverage, I deeply and completely love
and accept myself anyway…
Even though I feel exposed and
unprotected at this new weight, I accept who
I am and that I can protect myself anyway…
Even though I would rather hide behind
the extra weight, I accept all of me and the
reasons I thought I needed this protection.
Then proceed with the exercise until you are able to
imagine and feel yourself at your goal weight with no “Yes,
buts,” no anxiety, and no insecurity. Maybe during
this exercise you realized that you are worried about your
sister’s jealousy, or your mother’s envy, or your friend’s
frustration with her own weight problem.
Even though I’m afraid of what they
will say to me, I choose to mind my own
business.
Even though I don’t want them to be
mean to me, I choose to feel inspired towards
my own goals.
Even though I’m worried that they will
ridicule me if I stay on my diet, the way
they did last time, I honor myself, my goals and
accept who I am.
Continue with this exercise until you hit something
“threatening” (you’ll know it by the way you feel in your
mind and body) and you feel as if you have bumped into the
core reason you won’t let
yourself lose the excess weight you have been carrying
around. Is it frightening to change? Scary to
think that it might really work this time? Or threatening
to make the effort because you fear you will gain it back
again?
What are your limiting beliefs regarding
your ability to lose the weight? Ask
yourself how true these statements sound on a scale of
0-10:
No one in my family can lose weight and keep it
off. (0-10)
My metabolism is the cause of my extra weight.
(0-10)
I know I won’t keep it off so it’s not worth
the effort. (0-10)
I’m not supposed to be successful. (0-10)
If any of these statements were “true” when you scaled
them, then tap on the feelings as follows:
Even though the problem is my metabolism and
I can’t change that…I deeply and
completely love and accept myself.
Even though this is a family/gene
problem, so why bother trying, I accept who I
am and how I feel.
Even though I don’t want to try again
because of what happened last time, I have
decided to change this pattern inside of me.
Stay tuned for segments on Health,
Sports Performance, Financial
Abundance, and Building Your Practice.
Carol Look, EFT Master
In Part 1 of this article, I discussed
and defined comfort zones, how
to identify them and how to choose key targets for
EFT tapping so you will be able to neutralize
these limitations and clear the path for more success in
any part of your life.
In the next 2 parts of this series, you will find more
questions to help you uncover limiting beliefs
followed by tapping guidelines regarding areas of
(1) Health, (2) Sports (and artistic)
performance), (3) Financial Abundance,
and (4) Building Your EFT Practice (and
other businesses).
When you identify more limiting beliefs
around a certain area of your life, set aside time every
day to tap on these beliefs (which support
comfort zones) if you want to change the
outcome of your business, body, or relationship.
HEALTH
Suppose you have a limitation with your health that you
have suffered with for a long time. Is it possible
you are living within a comfort zone?
Answer the following questions before tapping:
(1) What was happening in your life
right before you were diagnosed or
experienced these symptoms for the first time?
(2) How does it serve you
to be limited in this way?
(3) What would be the downside
to getting over this illness/ailment/symptom?
(4) What do you think your body is
trying to tell you through this problem?
(5) What needs are you getting met
by having this illness?
Even though there are all these emotions
expressed through this illness, I deeply and
completely love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I’m using this ailment to get
my needs met, I accept who I am and how I feel.
Even though the anger/fear/guilt/hurt/loss
is lodged in my painful back, I accept my
feelings and how my body reacted to them.
Even though she told me this illness runs
in my family, I accept my feelings and that I am
different.
Then imagine yourself without this
health challenge --- notice how you feel.
(1) What would change in
your relationships?
(2) Who would ask you to take on more
responsibility?
(3) Would you be disoriented
in any way without this problem?
(4) Who would you “be”
without it?
The answers to these questions will reveal some of the
comfort zones you have been
working within, consciously or unconsciously. When we are
asked to or desire to change, our identity
issues usually surface. We associate
ourselves with our problems and our challenges, and when
they are no longer there, we don’t feel like
ourselves. Tapping is the best method I
have found for changing this discomfort and helping us
connect with a new identity congruent with success and
health.
Now apply EFT as follows:
Even though a part of me does NOT want to
let go of this illness (pain, insomnia,
diagnosis…), I choose to accept and love myself anyway.
Even though I feel reluctant to let go of
this ailment (skin problem, ache, disorder), I
choose to accept all of my body and self.
Even though I am afraid to change,
I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I don’t want them to ask me to
increase my responsibilities, I accept myself
deeply and completely.
While EFT is not meant to replace
adequate medical attention, I highly recommend you apply
EFT to any health problem you have (in
addition to following your doctor’s advice) no matter how
intractable it seems and no matter what your physician (or
the internet) has told you about statistics.
SPORTS PERFORMANCE
You keep saying you want to improve your game, but you
have these invisible blocks that are in your way.
Until you tap your way free of them, you will stay in the
same range of scoring or fitness whether your game is
golf, tennis, or ping pong.
You can ask yourself the right questions and apply
EFT to your skill in any sport. But let’s
use golf as an easy example. Suppose you
consistently shoot under 100, but are interested in
improving this score. Use the same method in
Part 1 of this article to test your
comfort zones.
(1) Imagine yourself scoring 98 for the first time in
your life. Imagine telling people, and hearing their
responses, feeling the satisfaction of your new skill.
Is there any anxiety that accompanies this new score?
What are the Yes, buts, or the reasons why you
wouldn’t want to accomplish this?
(2) Then proceed with shaving a few more points off
your score in your mind, and
measure the anxiety or discomfort when you imagine
yourself playing at this new level. You might “hear”
tailenders in your mind that tell you about your
limiting beliefs and comfort
zones.
Listen to the possible reasons that complete the
following statement: I can’t shoot below a “94”
because______________________________________.
a. I’ve never done that before
b. My golf partners would be jealous
c. I couldn’t maintain it once I got there
d. I don’t have enough skill, strength, height, etc
Use any variations of your limiting beliefs,
no matter how true they seem, for EFT
setup phrases.
Even though I don’t know how to
lower my score, I accept who I am and that my body knows
what to do.
Even though I’m afraid to improve,
I accept who I am and how I feel.
Even though I don’t want the pressure
of keeping up this new level of play, I accept who I am
and how I feel right now.
Even though I don’t want to rock the boat,
I accept my feelings and these conflicts.
Use this technique for any athletic or scoring
accomplishment you want to achieve. Identify the
limiting belief or
comfort zone, and tap until you have
neutralized it. The evidence will show up in your
next round of golf…(or swim meet, or tennis match)
Suppose you are a writer, and can’t seem to put pen to
paper these days…a common problem. You would want to
ask yourself some of the following questions:
(1) How is it serving you to
be stuck right now?
(2) What is the downside of
publishing your work?
(3) Who “wins” when you are
blocked in your art?
(4) Do you feel deserving of
success?
We all get stuck in different parts of our lives.
Being stuck simply means we are running around in circles
doing the same behavior over and over again without making
any progress. It’s the emotional conflicts that
create writer’s block or any artistic limit, not a force
outside of ourselves.
Try the following EFT statements:
Even though I sabotaged the acting audition
so I wouldn’t have to be seen by all those people, I
choose to accept I am worthy.
Even though I’m afraid of being exposed
if I become more successful in my writing, I accept who I
am and the talent I have.
Even though feeling stuck is familiar to me,
and I’m afraid to change this pattern, I deeply and
completely love and accept myself.
Even though it’s hard to believe in myself
because he said I was “a nobody” I accept who I
am and choose to believe this pattern.
“Artistic” performance, whether you are a musician,
artist, actor, or writer, takes incredible talent,
vulnerability and skill. Emotional conflicts are
never far behind. Thankfully, we are now able to
apply EFT for performance anxiety,
writer’s block, fear of success and any other limiting
beliefs or blocks to moving forward in your field.
Stay tuned for segments on Financial Abundance,
and Building Your Practice.
Carol Look, EFT Master
It is incredibly exciting to shine a light on your
comfort zones and
limiting beliefs … it gives you the power to
change your life. Without knowing where these are,
what they are, or that they are protecting you from
changing, you would never change!
Remember, limiting beliefs
are the convictions you have that support your
comfort zones. For instance, your
comfort zone might be to earn
$50,000 a year. This might be supported by a
limiting belief that says “No one in
my family has ever earned more than $50,000 a year, so I
am not allowed to either.” Or maybe you have a
limiting belief that follows
this line of reasoning: “I’m not worthy of
earning a six figure income” or “I don’t deserve
more money since there are so many poor people in the
world.” If you are not where you want to be
financially, assume you have some very simple convictions
that are keeping a lid on your success.
FINANCIAL ABUNDANCE
You continue to express a desire to move to the “next
level” financially. Maybe this is represented in an
increase of $50,000 per year in annual income. Will
you stay within your comfort zone
if you make this leap?
Usually, if you want to know what your
comfort zone is in your financial life, look
at your bank account and assets from year to year.
(1) Is your salary or savings account increasing?
(2) Do you blame the economy for your salary or lack
of earnings?
(3) Do you earn more or less than your peers in the
field?
(4) What risks do you associate with earning more
money?
(5) What are your “excuses” for staying in the salary
range you are in?
Even though I can’t make more money because
of this economy, I accept who I am and my earning
potential.
Even though I have fear about earning more,
I accept these limitations because I know I am changing
them.
Even though a part of me is reluctant to
move to the next level, I accept who I am and how
I feel.
(1) Now imagine yourself earning 20% more than last
year. How does it feel? Is there any
discomfort you feel in your body or mind about this jump?
(If there is anxiety, tap until you can picture and
feel it as a “reality” and then move on to the next
level.)
(2) Now imagine that you have earned 30% more than
your current base salary. What does this feel like?
Any uncomfortable feelings or “excuses” about why this
can’t happen? (If there are any uncomfortable feelings
or “yes, buts” that you notice, begin tapping on them
until you can clearly imagine yourself making the 20% leap
with emotional ease.)
(3) Now imagine that you have made a 50% leap in your
annual income. Pretend to hear yourself telling
someone about this leap. Hear what they say back to
you…your reaction to them…and measure the responses inside
of you. (If there is any discomfort at this level,
identify the feelings and fears and tap until it feels
easy to make this imaginary advance in your annual
income.) Continue with this process of raising your
income until you are satisfied with the new dollar amount.
Even though I won’t feel like “me”
if I earn more money, I accept and honor who I am.
Even though I’m not sure I want to change
how things are right now, I deeply and completely
love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I don’t want to upset my
colleagues, I accept this conflict right now.
If you do not address this anxiety about raising your
annual income, you will forever stay in your current
range. I am always being told by clients that
yes, they really DO want to make more money, but when
I ask them to visualize and feel themselves in a
higher income range, they instantly show me their blocks
through their body language and facial expressions.
They’ve attended countless seminars about improving their
resume, searching for the best marketing skills or making
a treasure map, but no one has asked them
about their energy around the new salary figure!
Fill in the blanks of the following statements to
uncover some of your limiting beliefs about financial
abundance:
If only I knew ___________________, I would be able
to earn more.
If only I believed ___________________, I would
make more money.
If only I could learn __________, I would be able
to attract the right business opportunity this year.
If only I didn’t have to worry about
______________, I would change right now.
If only I didn’t have to tell
anyone_______________, then I would be able to accept the
changes.
Play with more “if only statements” to uncover the
emotional blocks that you have hidden in your financial
life.
Tap as follows:
Even though I don’t want to rock the boat,
I accept who I am and allow myself to earn 20% more a
year.
Even though I’m afraid of what they might
say when I get promoted, I accept who I am and
that I am capable of earning more.
Even though I don’t want them to be jealous
of my wealth, I accept who I am and how I feel.
Even though it feels risky to earn more
money because my relationships might change, I
have decided to change my sabotage patterns anyway.
BUILDING AN EFT PRACTICE
I supervise dozens of EFT
Practitioners and therapists. They all agree
EFT works wonders, but they have trouble
applying it to themselves for some of their own issues
such as attracting the right clients, attracting full
paying clients, or building a full practice. No
matter what your business is, you may use the questions
and tapping suggestions below to identify
limiting beliefs and eliminate your current
comfort zones.
First, repeat the following statements out loud and
rate how “true” they feel on a scale from 0-10:
(10=totally true)
There is enough business for everyone. (0-10)
I have the ability to attract the perfect clients
right now. (0-10)
I have enough training and experience to build my
practice. (0-10)
I am truly skilled at delivering EFT. (0-10)
If any of these statements were rated below a “7” you
are clearly blocking yourself about building your
practice. (If you in fact do need
more training in this particular field, by all means, sign
up for workshops and watch the DVDs! There are exceptional
resources available and there is no excuse to being poorly
trained.) Start tapping on the reasons
you don’t feel these statements are more true.
For instance, you might start tapping as follows:
Even though there aren’t enough clients
for every practitioner in my area, I deeply and completely
love and accept myself.
Even though I’m afraid my colleague will
get all the business, I accept who I am and that
I am attracting the right clients.
Even though I don’t believe I have what it
takes to advance in my business, I accept my
skills and who I am.
Now imagine yourself with your ideal schedule.
How many hours a week do you work, how many workshops are
you leading, what are your fees? Does it seem out of
reach or something you will be able to attain?
What is your comfort zone around attracting
and maintaining your ideal business/practice?/em>
Suppose you are a writer suffering from classic
writer’s block. Ask yourself the key questions
before proceeding:
(1) How does this serve me
to be blocked?
(2) What am I afraid of if I
move forward?
(3) What if I AM truly successful
at this?
(4) Which friends/family members will be
conflicted about my success?
Even though I’m afraid I (and they) won’t
be able to handle more success, I accept who I am
anyway.
Even though they said I can’t handle money,
I accept my feelings and my worthiness.
Even though no one has ever believed in me,,
I have decided to believe in me.
Many people have a hard time admitting that their
limiting beliefs are indeed
serving them in a positive way. Continue to ask
yourself the “downside” of moving forward, and you will
uncover the beliefs and fears that EFT
will neutralize.
How Do I Know If This Is Working?
First of all, make sure you don’t go digging up the
seeds you planted only yesterday. Tap on your
limiting beliefs and
comfort zones and give it some time.
It is exhilarating when it works immediately, but
sometimes we need to mix a little patience along with
EFT. Just know for sure that when
you change your energy around these issues, the results in
your life MUST change.
You will know this is working when:
- you can imagine yourself at your
goal weight without anxiety or insecurity
- you imagine yourself being promoted
and enjoy handling the responses of your peers
- you can accept the attention you
will get for your new pain-free body
- you are eager to show up for the
appointment rather than sabotaging your new job
- you get the audition of a lifetime,
and know that you got the part
- you stop saying “I can’t afford
it.”
- you pay more attention to your
feelings than the opinions of others
Again, look at your life and the results in
all areas of health, relationships and finances.
You won’t be “working” hard at it any more. You will
find that successes come more naturally, that certain
opportunities come “out of the blue” and that everything
works more smoothly.
When you have become more comfortable with your new
level of success, return to the above exercises and start
all over again. There is no stopping you…
Carol Look
